By Terri Jenkins
21 Years and going! August 1997, I began a new life in Valdosta as an Air Force officer’s wife. My husband was transferred to from Tyndall to Moody as his last assignment before retirement. The good thing was that I was already familiar with Valdosta because I came here often to shop when I lived in Lake City. Valdosta, Lowndes County is so different now, 21 years later, and so am I. I am breaking this down in categories of Lessons Learned.
College Education: When I moved here, at age 35, I had very little work experience and no college education. In my first marriage, I was a stay at home mom, and I would not trade that wonderful experience for the world. However, when the girls were an appropriate age, I started attending the Lake City Community College but that was put on hold from 1994-1998. I started at VSU in fall, 1998 and after six years, I graduated in 2004 with my Bachelor’s in Speech Communication with PR emphasis. It took me 18 years from start to finish but I decided in 2001, during my second divorce, that nothing or no one would keep me from obtaining that degree. Husband number three had to endure long hours and group projects but all three were supportive in my desire to do “something for myself” – it was a personal goal but ended up being a stepping stone into a non-profit career that has lasted nearly 21 years. I cried on graduation day and all the young people asked why? I told them that it had been a long journey to get here and that I was grateful to have received that piece of paper at age 42. I am proud to be an alumnus of Valdosta State University. Lesson: don’t give up on your dreams and desires. Stay focused and they will be granted unto you.
Career: Upon moving here, I began to work at the Children’s Advocacy Center as the Administrative Assistant. I soon became the Outreach Coordinator and was doing PR work before I got the degree. I worked there for almost three years and loved every minute of it. As a victim of child sexual abuse while in foster care in Miami, it was like therapy, interacting with the children and helping them through their situation. I did not have that as a child because nothing like the CAC existed.
I had to get a full-time job due to the divorce, so I started working at Valdosta State University and after two years, quit to go to school full time. I worked at United Way as the PR intern for two years until graduation. Thrifty Car Rental, Turner Center for the Arts, Valdosta Country Club, SGMC and now the American Red Cross. All those experiences, including being fired three times (it was proven that it was not unsatisfactory performance though) taught me so much and all led me to where I am now.
While at VSU, I always chose the Red Cross to feature in my projects and five years after graduating, I started working for the Red Cross in April 2009. January 2019 marked 12 years with the organization and April, 10 years as the executive director. I love my job and I am good at it. There have been challenges and within those, growth has taken place, both personally and professionally. You must be open to correction, education, learning and sharing in the work place. I have been humbled, overwhelmed, happy, sad, confused, supportive and encouraging in my job. I also have been rewarded for my hard work and that is a nice feeling. Lesson: things happen for a reason and although I did not understand the “whys” at times, there was a bigger and better plan (and job) for me. For that, I am grateful.
Significant Relationships: My significant relationships had levels of verbal, emotional and physical abuse. There were ups and downs, but also, there was love and many good times but underneath it all, a world that very few knew existed. I smiled, pretended, played the part, did what I needed to do to “survive” but it got to a point that there was more to life than just surviving. A professor at VSU helped me realize my situation was less than what I deserved. Am I perfect? No, but then I never claimed to be, however, I began to realize that I was worth more than what I was getting back in return. Those types of situations are not healthy for the soul and spirit; it was painful and sometimes, still is but I have realized that I am better off. I am in a good place and am content, for the first time in a long time, with where my life is. It is all about the journey. Love is a risk; I have been hurt and I have hurt others but there is beauty and healing in forgiveness. Lesson: All three taught me something; the realization of what I want, need and deserve in a relationship and what I don’t want, need and deserve. So, I wait.
Friendships: In the 21 years in Valdosta, I have acquired some of the best friendships that I have ever had. I have also had to disassociate from unhealthy friendships because they did not serve a positive purpose in my life anymore. Was that hard? Yes, but it was necessary. I treasure the times my friends have been here to support me “through thick and thin” and I hope I have done the same for them. There are too many to mention, both male and female, but y’all know who you are! I love y’all to pieces! Lesson: identify who is a good influence in your life and do what it takes to keep them and get rid of those who are not.
Life: In my 56 years on this earth, I have been tried, tested, put through the fire, abused, almost kidnapped (as a child). I have asked for forgiveness and offered it too. During the last 21 years in this wonderful city, my life has grown richer by the experiences I have gone through, whether happy or sad and I am appreciative of the undying love, mercy and grace that God above has extended to me. He can do that for you also. Valdosta has become a second home to me; I lived in Lake City for 26 years, so this is the only other place that comes close. It is a great town that has a lot to offer. Not too small but just big enough to enjoy many things. Lesson: Be your authentic self and live the best life you can. We are only here once. Be true to what is inside your heart. I learned these things the hard way and never again, will not let anyone dictate my choices. They are mine to make.
Will I be here until I die? I don’t know the answer to that but in the meantime, I will continue to work in a job that I love, give back to this community in various ways that will hopefully enrich others, spend time with great friends and continue to be open to what God has for me and for what life has to offer. I am excited for 2019 and can’t wait to see what is in store. What do you want to see happen for you in 2019? Let me know!
