By Brooke Starr

Yesterday at 9:09 a.m. my mother in law text, “Good foggy morning to you! Hope you are doing well and hope you have a good day. Love you. Enjoyed our little luncheon yesterday.”

A simple message to some, but knowing that there is a group of women out there supporting me and wanting me to win is so important.

I know that I am not alone in this.

Shortly after meeting me, you will learn that I am all about empowerment of women.

I have throughly enjoyed writing this blog, not only because several of you have reached out to me, but because I’ve gotten to know a coworker so much better. She is about encouraging and empowering women, wanting us all to shine, and wants us all to win. Wouldn’t it be so nice if it was like everywhere?

Ladies, why are we so cutthroat? Is it because there are less jobs for us to take, so we fight over them?

Are we insecure with ourselves so we have to put each other down?

Is it jealousy?

I am proud to announce that my name is Brooke Starr, and I have overcome jealousy.

Yes, I struggled with this for so long. Looking at other women and thinking they had it better than me.

Social media certainly doesn’t help with this. We get that photographer to take the perfect Pinterest pose, and put it out there like we have it all together.

Let’s face it ladies, we are all a hot mess.

My jealousy would be for women who didn’t have to work, stayed at home with their children, got to go to the gym, were fit, and drove a white SUV.

One day I was in the Chick-fi-lay drivethru and the line was wrapped around the building – all women drivers – and I was the only blue small car in the whole line.

It’s like the young Valdosta moms are coming out of a printing press, and then there’s me sticking out like a sore thumb.

But…that’s ok.

I don’t want their life, I like my life.

As time has gone on I have learned you never know the struggles that someone goes through – and we all struggle, we all have our story.

I’ve also learned that things are never as they seem.

The boy that I so desperately wanted to pay me attention in high school doesn’t even go for women today.

The girl who’s marriage I envied, she struggles with being faithful.

The young woman who is so skinny and has the body I want, struggles to gain weight and wishes she could put on at least 10 pounds to be healthy.

And last but not least, the friend who seems to have it all, the closet we envy, the SUV, the house – she’s going broke trying to prove she’s not. 

We can’t compare our lives to others.

That’s brings me to your tribe.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is for you.

I have a group of women who are my ride or dies. My mother, my sisters, my aunts, my mother-in-law and just a couple of close friends.

Your tribe has to want to see you happy, see you succeed, want the best for you.

Not the friend who secretly smiles when you fail.

Cut them out now.

You need a small group of trust, the ones you can vent to, the one who will help you move, be by your side during loss, the ones who want you at your best because they love you.

Guys, you need this too. Marriage and raising kids is hard, you got to have someone you can talk to. 

As of January 1st I made a vow to myself to never speak a negative word about anyone.

I’ve always spoken the truth, but not with grace. Just harsh facts, and leave them there. I’m trying my best to speak truth with grace, and not speak negatively, and boy, I’ve already seen God work.

I think with maturity you start to take responsibility for your actions and what you are bringing to the table.

It’s funny once God starts to take over – you want everybody to win, even the mom who drives the SUV the price of my house, even you, girl.

And most importantly, don’t envy anyone; you don’t know their struggles and you probably don’t want to change places.

The grass is not greener…

…except for Jessica Biel…you can envy her, she’s married to Justin Timberlake.