That dreaded day is approaching soon and us girls that are single cringe at the though of yet another year of celebrating anti-Valentine’s Day.

I used to think of Valentines Day as “Dead Man Walking” when I worked in a large office occupied by mostly married and attached women. You know that feeling you get when you walk out at the end of the day with no flowers or chocolates in hand while all the others are giggling and admiring the beautiful arrangements their significant others have sent them on this glorious love filled day.

“Gross,” I’d think.

I’ve been single for more Valentine’s Days that I can count. For some reason, most of my relationships have fallen at other times of the year, and this can suck when it comes to Valentines Day.

When my friends are gushing about their “loves” and all the cute surprises they have planned, I’ll be thinking of eating half-priced boxes of discounted chocolates the day after. It’s my own fault though. I’ve had plenty of opportunities.

I tried marriage once but that didn’t work out, although I got three cool kids out of the deal. My girls kinda make fun of me when people ask why their mother isn’t married. They just laugh and say, “Mom can’t even be committed to hair spray.”

Yep, I’m single as a Pringle because it is a metaphor for life. Pringles are packed into the same tube as the rest of the chips, next to the same looking chips but not all get chosen. Some get broken in the process and some are left behind because there aren’t any other worthy appetites.

The somewhat humorous celebration with the acronym “Singles Awareness Day” (SAD) is meant as an anti-Valentines’s Day for us “singles” or you can, like me, hold off until February 15th and have that day all to your own single self.

I’ve had my share of flowers, though, and I even broke up with a guy on Valentines Day right after he gave me eleven roses.

The twelfth rose, he was holding behind his back.

Harsh I know, but you know the rest of the cheesy story which involves diamonds and a life commitment.

As my ex-husband would say “you reap what you sow.” I don’t think that is true but you do have to look at yourself and some of your quirks. Some people may be narcissistic like my last boyfriend or maybe your just selfish. Some may be non committal or just plain scared to make that mistake again.

But it may be because you have been sleeping with Shaggy every night for the last seventeen years.

And the princess lived happily ever after in her own big castle with all of her own money and she took care of herself.

The End.

So, happy Valentines Day to nearly everyone. Be safe, be nice, and always carry Mentos.

You never know..

Forever Jewels

P.S. This is an actual picture of my Shaggy that I sleep with. My youngest daughter has Scooby-Doo. She gave me her Shaggy years ago to sleep with.