Brooklyn my 10-year-old daughter is going into the 6th grade next year. Mark and I have been discussing her future – and our future – as we are both approaching 40 and reevaluating our direction.

While in prayer the other night I asked God directly, “if you were going to walk into my house right now and tell me what I needed to hear, what would you say?”

I feel that we all wonder from time to time if we are in the right place in our lives, and is this what we pictured for ourselves at 40, or 50, or 60.

I believe when you stay in a state of mind of prayer, you can hear what God speaks to you and where he is trying to guide you.\

As I’ve told you before, Mark and I lost our fathers very young so I’m constantly looking to God for direction and guidance.

As I was tucking Brooklyn in she confessed to me that she was nervous about going into 6th grade. I immediately felt guilty because I knew she picked up on some conversations my husband and I had been having.

(Right now she goes to a small private school, and we have been debating where she needs to start middle school. My thinking was when kids start middle school several elementary schools are combined so everyone is the new kid and she would easily make new friends, and we could save money with not having to pay tuition.)

As a 10-year-old she looked me directly in my eyes and said “I am confident where I am, and I love my friends. They are like my sisters and brothers. Plus I was bullied at my other school, and I don’t have to worry about that here.” (Meaning her school.)

The fact that she is not bullied and feels like she can be herself is all that matters to her. She’s scared to go to another school because she hears all her friends talk about being bullied.

Being bullied makes up their world, and consumes their thinking. I tell her all the time how beautiful she is, but that one little turd can call her chubby once and it’s all destroyed.

I immediately thought back to when I was in 6th grade. This was 1994. Starter Jackets, No Fear Shirts, Nike everything, Ivy Crew, and Duckhead were all the rage. All the girls played sports, and all the boys liked the girls who were either a cheerleader, softball player, or basketball player.

I tried out for all of those things, but when it came to catching the ball, the glove went to the right, and the ball went to the left.

I just wanted to talk.

Talk about who was dating who, what new music was out, and cute boys. I loved to sing so chorus was my thing. I wasn’t popular, but all my friends were.

That year the whole school was having a talent show. I was so excited, it was my time to shine. I auditioned and knew I had nailed it. I sung “The Little Mermaid’s, Part of Your World.”

The following Friday the list was put on the art teacher’s door of who would be in the talent show….there it was…MY NAME!

When I got home I immediately thought of my performance, and how I would blow it out of the water. My dad got dry ice and I dressed like the little mermaid. I had a treasure trove, and made the stage appear under the sea. The talent show was going to prove that I was just as good as other girls.

The night of the talent show my friends and parents brought me flowers, I felt like a princess and couldn’t wait for my moment. The teacher introduces me, and the curtain is about to open, suddenly the guy who played the drums in a previous act comes up to me.

My heart is racing. He’s so cute and he’s about to talk to me. He immediately throws up his hands as if he’s debating something. He yells loudly “so me and Jeremy are trying to figure it out, are you a beached whale, or a mermaid? We think it’s a beached whale.”

And he walks off.

The curtain opens.

It’s time for me to sing.

My sister yells out in a moment of silence, “You go girl!”

Everyone laughs.

Then a mean girl yells “Yeah, off the stage!” I was humiliated. I was so nervous and embarrassed my voice squeaked. I couldn’t sing. The song ended and I ran off stage.

That moment affected me my entire life, and I never forgot it.

Years later after Facebook became a thing, that boy tried to friend request me. I sent him a message and asked if he remembered the talent show. He wrote me a long message and said how he was so insecure himself that he wanted everyone else to join his misery, and he apologized.

I was recently talking to a coworker and she mentioned her favorite thing about me is that I don’t let anyone dull my shine.

Bullying still happens when you are older, it’s in the workplace, it’s the mean girls that don’t invite you to lunch, it’s everywhere.

And there’s always that one who wants to blow out everyone’s candle so theirs can shine a little brighter. But it doesn’t, it just shows their weaknesses.

Parents, it’s so important that we have these discussions with our children and remind them they are not alone. It happened to us, and it happens when you grow up.

Listen to your kids, and most importantly, teach your child to be a kind human. Treat the janitor with the same respect as you’d treat the CEO. They learn from our behavior.

I wish I could talk to middle school kids, who think I’m so cool because with being a DJ they think I might know Cardi B.

I was once the little girl who was made fun of for being overweight, but I survived. Teach your kids that middle school and high school is temporary, and the bullies are the losers.

I survived bullying, let’s work together so no one has to declare this again.

Unite to stop bullying.