By Patrick Bailey
Self-love is not a destination you reach at a singular point in your life. Contrary to popular belief, loving yourself is a process that requires constant self-evaluation, habit change, and practice. The only way to truly love yourself is to understand the way you live and to learn what matters about who you are. From there, you can build the necessary habits needed to help you live your best life and support your highest confidence levels. After that, the journey of self-love requires practice as new life events and emotions constantly challenge your self-esteem and force your self-love to grow. Practice these ideas if you want to feel better about yourself and are ready to begin taking the steps to get there.
Decide How You Want to Feel
Learning to love yourself is a habit you can build over time and can be made easier if you decide exactly how you want to feel. Setting realistic expectations for yourself will help you avoid confusion about what it truly means to show self-love, and bouncing back when you are in a negative state of mind. For example, it is not realistic to love yourself all of the time. There will be plenty of moments where you doubt yourself or wish you could be better. Instead of expecting 24/7 self-love, learn to describe what it truly means for you to be satisfied. Maybe you want to feel positive waking up in the morning or confident enough to walk away from a relationship. Learn to set self-love expectations on your own terms.
Build Habits with Intention
Self-love is not always achieved through emotions alone. For the most part, self-love is actually created and fortified by the habits you choose to practice daily and the intentions behind them. For example, eating healthy because you are unhappy with your body is different than eating healthy because you want to feel good. If you create habits based on the intention of feeling good and treating yourself well, you are more likely to keep up with it over time and enjoy the process. Set goals to improve your accountability, but be sure to create them with the intention of improving how you feel.
Work Through Serious Issues
A powerful way to be proactive about your overall self-esteem is to work through serious issues as soon as you detect a problem. Mental health challenges such as addiction, depression, anxiety, or everyday worries are common to many people and experiencing these does not need to deplete your self-love. You will simply learn to build your confidence in the face of these challenges over time. To help you do this, keep an eye out for the warning signs of major mental health challenges and do not be afraid to ask for help. In fact, asking for help means you respect your wellbeing enough to get the support you need, which is the ultimate act of self-love.
Learn Positive Self-Talk
The last essential component of building your self-love is to practice the positive self-talk you need to feel incredible. The thought patterns in your brain can be changed if you actively practice them enough, so be intentional about the ways you’d like to think. Be clear about the self-talk you’d like to incorporate in the future, such as telling yourself you look great in the mirror or acknowledging when you do something positive for yourself. Self-encouragement is a useful tool when you’d like to rely more on your own thinking for willpower or motivation.
Building self-love is a lifelong journey you will go on at your own pace. Learn how to decide exactly how you’d like to feel, create habits that support this feeling, and do your best to adapt as you go. Ask for help proactively to take the best care of your mental and physical health, and learn to speak to yourself in a way that promotes your confidence. By following these steps, you have a positive blueprint towards building the self-love you
