Bread, eggs, oh shucks I forgot to update you on my life. I know MTV already created 16 and Pregnant but I really feel like they should create 30 with Children.
It would follow around moms like me all day and it’d be all the entertainment you need. It would start with me waking up at the butt crack of dawn, popping a frozen waffle in the toaster then cutting up an apple for a two-year-old that will take three bites and then give the rest to the dog.
The camera man will then pan across the room to Garrett reading a cookbook because he watched one video of Gordon Ramsey cooking a hamburger. He is also rocking our three-week-old child with his foot on the side of her seat/bassinet thing.
The show would then go interview style like on The Office and I would complain about my baby weight while eating a cookie.
Later, we’d go to Aldi for half of our groceries, then drag our screaming children to Publix for the stuff I don’t like to buy at Aldi. Just to spice things up I’d open a bag of pretzels mid shopping trip to entertain Grafton. We’d make it back to the house and flip a coin to decide who has to put Grafton down for a nap and who would make lunch, only to realize we didn’t buy any groceries for lunch.
Doesn’t that sound entertaining?
Maybe the first episode would be, but then once the writers of the show realize we live our lives on repeat they might get bored with us.
Except for yesterday, when we made it out of the house! We took a drive up to north Georgia to Tallulah Gorge. At the bottom of the Gorge there’s a huge suspended bridge you can walk across that hangs over the waterfall. To get to this bridge you must complete a hike down 750 stairs, then at the end you must go back up those stairs.
Garrett carried Grafton in a backpack and I carried Eleanor on my chest. Not going to lie, I’ve never been more tempted to throw myself off a staircase in my life. If Eleanor wasn’t attached I would have jumped in that river and ridden it till the end to avoid the hike back up.
Instead I completed it, reminding Garrett every step that I gave birth three weeks ago.
Readers, I wish I had something juicy or entertaining to tell you guys, but the truth is I’ve been on a couch nursing a baby and entertaining a toddler for three weeks straight. I crave the days we make it out of the house, but I love the days we stay in. Our house is filled with cries and laughter these days, spilled milk and dog hair as well.
This is 30 with children.
MTV if you’re reading this, please take my show idea into consideration.
